Stranger than Fanfiction
by TheGreatSvenster
Summary: A giant crossover fanfic with various Video Game, Anime, Movie, TV, historical figures, and ect fighting to the death, much like UVR. Based on votes I recieved in a forum I frequent. SSBB Freeboards.Best thing I've ever read!  The Original Ansem


Goro entered the ring slowly. He was having trouble getting his limbs through the ropes.

"Our first contestant is Goro, from the Mortal Kombat series, folks." Sven said into his microphone.

Goro flexed his arms and roared for his fans, who cheered.

"I pity the next fighter in the ring, for they have to go one-on-one with the mighty PRINCE GORO!" Goro roared in a deep voice, followed by cheers, resembling those from a typical wrestling match.

Sven rolled his eyes, and put in "R Borlax" by Horse the Band into the CD player.

An audio-only scene from The Wizard started playing over the intercom.

"_What's what?"_

_"I don't know..."_

_"The Power Glove..."_

A mixture of synths and guitar chords blasted out from the speakers immediately afterwards. The crowd knew what song it was, and they knew who was gonna enter next by the song that was playing, and stood up with cheers.

"_THAT LITTLE BASTARD,_

_with his tricks and vile forms of play_

_hacking shaving slicing mutilating_

_all that gets before him, _

_all that gets in his way._"

Cutman jumped from the curtains and threw a scissor up into the air, followed by applause and cheer.

"_Coming around down the stairs._

_wood cracks beneath my feet,_

_my hand slips across the rail _

_collecting dust on my finger tips._

_I came into a dark room _

_the smell of wet stone of many years _

_then there was a bubonic retard's blank empty stare..._"

Cutman jumped into the ring and started taunting Goro.

"_IT WAS A LITTLE ANDROID MAN_

_HALF THE SIZE THAT I AM _

_SCISSORS ON HIS HEAD _

_SCCCIIISSSOOORRRRSSSSS ON HIS FUCKING HEAD!_"

Cutman jumped towards Goro, only to have a fireball thrown in his face.

"Oh damn, Cutman's about to get his shit ROCKED!" said Pudd with a smile.

Sven just rolled his eyes more.

Goro laughed.

"Lookit you! You're tiny! You're the size of a fuckin' 10 year old!"

Cutman grimaced and threw a cutter at Goro, cutting his arm.

"Lookit you! You bleed! Like a little wuss!" Cutman said with a grin.

Goro punched the ground where Cutman was standing as Cutman barely dodged being hit. He threw another scissor, just to be blocked by Goro.

"Your weapons are useless. I mean, who throws scissors? Why do you think Mega Man kicked your ass so many times?"

"Yeah, well you're slow as hell. Why do you think Johnny Cage did THIS?" Cutman did a split and punched Goro right in the groin.

Pudd laughed in the announcer's booth. "I love Johnny Cage's groin punch."

"But he totally fought Goro like a pussy in the movie. He just punched him in the balls, and ran up the mountain and pushed Goro off." Sven added.

"That movie was meh. But it did have good fights." remarked Clem.

"Yeah. I loved the Liu Kang vs Reptile fight." said Sven as he put a new CD in the tray.

"_Sail away where no ball and chain_

_Can keep us from the roarin' waves_

_Together undivided but forever we'll be free_

_So sail away aboard our rig_

_The moon is full and so are we_

_We're seven drunken pirates_

_We're the seven deadly sins_"

Jack Sparrow walked to the ring, greeted with a greatly positive crowd reception.

"Flogging Molly" said Clem. "Good choice."

"Yeah, it was either this or the Pirate Song from Lazy Town. I'm glad I went with this."

As Jack got into the ring, he eyed the large four-armed Dragon-Human beating up a child-sized robot.

"I'll leave you too alone with each other." Jack hopped up onto the turnbuckle, and starting taking swigs from his sack of rum.

After a few body slams, Goro finally threw Cutman at the turnbuckle, the one Jack was sitting on. Jack dove away in time, fortunately, and drew his pistol.

"Woah, why the hell does he have a pistol?" Pudd stood up in surprise. "I thought we banned guns from the tournament, for the safety of our audience?"

"We let Jack have his crappy, antique pistols." said Sven, nonchalantly. "They can't do any real damage, especially from a distance, and they take forever to reload."

Goro stepped towards Jack Sparrow. "What're gonna do? Shoot me?"

Jack Sparrow winced. "Well, if you're fine with it-" Jack shot Goro in the chest. It appeared to be a mortal wound, but Goro was unphased.

"What a weak piece of crap!" Goro backhanded Jack Sparrow in the face, who went flying to the mat.

Pudd laughed. "BOOSH!"

Goro walked towards him and Jack Sparrow quickly got up and put his hands up in protest.

"Now see, mate, I just shot you to prove a point."

Goro looked confused. "Explain."

"See, I'm no threat to you. While you're busy fighting me, you're open to all kind of attacks from people way stronger than me, right?"

"I guess."

"Now, that gunshot to the chest didn't hurt am I right?"

"No. It felt like being stuck by a needle."

"Exactaly, my friend. I am no threat to you." Jack pointed to the deep, bleeding gash on his arm, caused by Cutman. "Now, how about that?"

Goro swallowed his pride. "Yes. That hurt like shit."

"See, that was just a cheap shot. Imagine if he's right behind you, trying to get an even better shot at you right now."

Goro quickly turned around to see Cutman aiming a scissor at him.

"I was right. I am your ally, Prince Goro, you have nothing to fear from me." Goro didn't hear him, since he was too busy beating the ever loving shit out of Cutman.

Jack Sparrow laughed a laugh of satisfaction and victory. He loved stupid people. They were so easy to manipulate.

Something tapped his shoulder. As he turned around, a giant black fist punched him in the jaw. The newly arrived Venom stood over him. Venom grabbed Jack Sparrow by the collar and tossed him into the turnbuckle.

"Damn, Wal-Mart must've had a huge sale on murtle fuzz because there's plenty of it to go around!" remarked Sven. He looked at Pudd and Clem, who weren't laughing. "Bah fuck you faggots, that was funny."

Jack Sparrow drew his sword. Venom laughed and used his web to grab the sword and threw it out of Jack's hand. Jack didn't know what this creature was, he just knew he was fucked.

But, salvation. Goro threw Cutman across the ring, and he hit Venom in the back of his head. Venom jumped on Goro and started mauling him. Cutman sprawled to the ropes where he got his head together, and started to repair his arm, which had been damaged by Goro.

Venom dove into Goro doing a Venom Fang. Goro jumped up into the air and stomped on him.

"Holy shit, this is like something from MUGEN." Pudd commented. "Especially since Venom's doing a lot of crap he does in Marvel vs Capcom 2."

A few punched in the face later, Venom jumped back. He yelled, "VENOM WEB!", but before he would turn Goro into a cocoon, Goro threw a fireball at his chest, disrupting it.

Meanwhile, in the contestant waiting room, a man with a clipboard and a headset entered. "Okay, Kirk Douglas, you're next." Nobody answered. "Seriously, Kirk Douglas, you have to be in the ring in the next 30 seconds or you're disqualified." Still no answer. "Where is the one they call Kirk Douglas?"

Demetri Maximov stood up. "I am Kirk Douglas."

Baron Unterbheit stood up. "Nein, I am Kirk Douglas."

Psycho Mantis hovered from his chair. "No, I'm Kirk Douglas." He looked at Demitri. "I see you've been playing a lot of _SUPER MARIO SUNSHINE_ lately."

GG Allin stood up. "Fuck you cocksucking faggots, I'm motherfucking Kirk Douglas."

A single tear fell from the real Kirk Douglas's eye.

"Umm." said the man with the clipboard. "Stop fucking around. I'm being serious."

"Oh." said Psycho Mantis. "The one they call Kirk Douglas is over there." He pointed to Kirk Douglas.

"Bah, you assholes sold me out! You kids today and your iPods! In my days, we had to listen to music on giant records! And there was no free music on the internet either! If you wanted free music, you went to the record store and stole an album! And they weren't easy to steal like CDs, they were like, 400 inches wide! And we didn't have all this loose fitting clothes you kids today wear! We tucked in our shirts!"

Without realizing it, Kirk Douglas was in the ring ("Sacred Spirits - Wishes of Happiness & Prosperity" was played at his arrival), and Jack Sparrow was taunting him with a sword, while Kirk Douglas incoherently rambled on about the "troublesome youth of today".

"YOU!" Kirk Douglas pointed at Jack Sparrow. "You don't know shit about fuck! I've been through shit that you only see in movies, alright? You young kids today think you're so hot, with your skateboards, and your iPhones, and your 8-Track players and your DC sho-ERK!"

Jack impaled Kirk Douglas with his sword and threw him out of the ring.

Nobody noticed, because they were too busy watching the near-epic fight between Venom and Goro. Cutman was just jumping circles around them, throwing scissors at them, which they dodged most of the time. While Venom didn't look it, he was exhausted. Goro, however, was covered in welts and bruises and cuts from head to toe. He seemed unphased, however. Venom swung his head back and lashed out his tongue, aiming to trip Goro with it. Goro's lower right arm, however, grabbed his tongue with almost lightning-fast reflexes and speed, which was surprising to most of the spectators. Goro dug his arm into Venom's chest and lifted him over his head. He turned around to throw Venom over the ropes, but saw Verdugo from Resident Evil 4 climbing over the ropes and quickly impale him in the chest with its tail. Goro grabbed Verdugo's tail, and removed it from hits chest. He quickly punched Verdugo in the side of its rock hard face, and it fell over. Goro clutched his wound with his arms, and cried out a sickening roar. This was the first time in the fight Goro showed any sign of pain.

Venom got up, this was his chance. He lifted Goro's legs and he flipped over the ropes. A sinister grin formed in Venom's massive mouth. He turned around to block Verdugo's tail which was swinging towards Venom.

Cutman, nearby, was fighting with Jack Sparrow.

Pudd punched the desk. "God DAIMNIT!" He was clearly pissed. "That was the cheapest elimination I've ever seen. Venom got out of that by the skin of its balls!"

"Yeah, that fight was the only mildly entertaining thing going on. Now it's basically Venom avoiding Verdugo's tail and Jack Sparrow dodging Cutman's scissor things."

"Where the fuck does he gets all those things anyway?" Clem added. "Is there a giant stockpile of scissors in his body that keep appearing on the top of his head?"

"Shh." Sven shushed Clem. "Something is happening."

Jack Sparrow pulled out his pistol and shot Cutman in the chest. He ran up to the stunned Cutman and kicked him in the face. Cutman got up and threw a scissor, which he promptly dodged.

"Now, nothing is happening. Clem, continue."

"I was done."

"Oh. Well anyway." He turned on his microphone. "It's a bird, it's a plane, NO! It's POWDERED TOAST MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

The crown burst into cheers as Powdered Toast Man flew ass-first into the ring, into Verdugo.

"Alien scum! Die!" He shot raisins from his mouth, knocking Verdugo backwards.

"Isn't he great?" Pudd said, laughing.

"Why, he's TOASTERIFFIC!" Sven said. They both exploded into laughter.

Verdugo got up and slashed at Powdered Toast Man. PTM dodged the blade and grabbed Verdugo by the jaw.

"What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?" He threw Verdugo by his mouth into the ropes.

Venom grabbed Powdered Toast Man from behind and German Suplexed him. Powdered Toast Man got up with a farting noise.

"So that's how you want to play, huh?" Powdered Toast Man swung back his fist and punched him in the jaw. He landed next to Magneto, who had just entered. Magneto punted him away. Cutman, seeing the new fighter (and not knowing of his powers, of course) jumped towards him and threw a scissor at him. Magneto tossed the scissor away in mid air and lifted Cutman in the air.

"I pity you. You're made of metal and you were stupid enough to challenge me. Your AI must be set on 'dullard'."

"Unhand that child, villain!" With a sound resembling air blown through wet meat, jumped in front of Magneto. He grabbed him and flew in the air. "I'll teach you to bully metal children, fiend!" He tossed Magneto out of the ring.

Venom threw Jack Sparrow against the turnbuckle. His back ached, his leg was sprain, his whole body was sore.

"Why did I sign up for this damn tournament?" Jack Sparrow spit blood on the mat. Venom thrust his knee into the side of Jack Sparrow's stomach. Venom elbowed him in the face. Jack, with his face bruised and bloodied, head butted Venom in the face.

"Head butting is probably the manliest way to hurt someone ever." Sven commented.

Jack Sparrow clubbed the back of Venom's neck with his wrist. This was basically like punching a giant in the face. Even if you land a few good shots in, you have no chance to beat him. And that's exactly what happened. Venom grabbed Jack Sparrow's face, wrapping his entire hand around it, and lifted Jack up in the air. Jack gasped for breath, as the symbionotic goo from Venom's fingers filled his nostrils. Finally, he threw him across the ring. When Jack landed, he lifted his head up and coughed, and then passed out.

The ring was a bad place to pass out. Shortly after passing out, he quickly woke up. He saw Gordon Freeman enter the ring, accompanied by cheers. Gordon was pissed off that security took his handgun and his pulse rifle. The only weapons they let him have were his crowbar, his grenades and his gravity gun.

He looked at Verdugo, and his facial expression changed.

"They let Combines into this tournament?" he clutched his crowbar and sprinted towards Verdugo, pushing Powdered Toast Man out of his way. His frantically and maniacally started wailing on the confused Verdugo.

"Enslave MY people will you…"

Parts of his exoskeleton flew off with each time the crowbar struck him. He was confused of why people were accusing him of being from another planet.

After the beating, Gordon pulled out a grenade and pulled the pin. With great force, he thrust the grenade into its ribcage. Verdugo tried pulling it out, but it blew him out of the ring and into elimination. Gordon used his gravity gun to sweep the other piece of Verdugo out of the ring.

"_You can't escape the wrath of my heart_

_Beating to your funeral song (You're so alone)_

_All faith is lost for hell regained_

_In the dust in the hands of shame (Just be brave)_"

Right after those lyrics played, Sven grabbed the HIM CD out of the stereo and broke it in half.

"I hate it when people request shitty music."

Demitri Maximov climbed into the ring and threw a Chaos Flare at Venom.

"Leave ME out of Marvel vs Capcom 2, will you, Capcom…"

"At least you were in SvC Chaos! Shut up!" Venom punched him.

"SVC Chaos sucked!" Demitri threw another Chaos Flare which missed.

"I agree." Commented Sven.

Venom punched Demitri in the stomach and threw him to the mat.

The beating Venom was giving Demitri was nothing compared to the beating Cutman was giving Gordon Freeman. He has so many cuts in his suit that the left sleeve was coming off. Tired of dodging a bunch of scissors, Gordon drew his gravity gun and caught a scissor in mid-air with it.

Cutman started to run away. Gordon smiled at he shot the scissor at an amazing speed at Cutman. However, it missed as headed towards the audience.

"Fuck..." muttered Sven.

Fortunately to Sven, Clem and Pudd's wallets, the scissor missed everyone and was embedded in an empty chair. King Hippo returned from getting popcorn to be very confused of why there was a large scissor in the middle of his chair. Alucard(invited by Simon Belmont), sitting in the chair next to him laughed while King Hippo(invited by The Eggplant Wizard) tried to wrestle the large sharp object out of his chair.

Gordon Freeman chased Cutman around with a crowbar. He managed to corner Cutman, in the turnbuckle. He cocked back his arm, only for it to be twisted back by a large, metal arm.

"I'll teach yous to mess with my little buddy!" Gutsman threw Gordon Freeman on the ground by his arm, then helped Cutman up. "See, buddy, if we's stick together, we'll probably win this tournament."

"You're right, Gutsman. Let's go kick some ass!" Gutsman threw a giant boulder at Jack Sparrow. A fierce punch sent Jack Sparrow out of the ring and out of this tournament. However, Jack Sparrow was thankful. Venom jumped on Gutsman's back and started wailing on him.

"_Nobody knows my true identity._

_For all we know I'm John F. Kennedy's_

_love child with Nosferatu._

_We can't know, but still we got to._

_Nobody knows how deep this mystery goes,_

_but ancient caveman history shows:_

_We're all descended from the same evil alien slime._"

Psycho Mantis floated down the catwalk , grabbing various items from people in the front row with his mind such as popcorn, candy bars, sodas, hot dogs, and threw them at the people in the ring. An unbitten hot dog flew into Powdered Toast Man's hands.

"Don't mind if I do!" he took a bite out of the hot dog. "Mmmm. Like a good, american hot dog should taste like! You know what would go good with this hot dog?" He scraped some shavings off of his shoulder, creating a piece of powdered toast.

"Powdered Toast!" He was then hit in the head with a flying soda, which splashed all over his suit.

"You fiend! I just dry cleaned this suit!" PTM lifted his arm and fired croutons from his armpits, only for Psycho Mantis to teleport away.

He teleported to the corner of the ring and continued to telepathically throw shit at everyone. It wasn't really hurting them, it was just really annoying.

Gutsman was throwing boulders at Venom, when a soda cup hit him in the back of the head. He turned around, and yelled at Psycho Mantis.

"What's da big idea? Who throws a cup at someone?" He was interrupted by Venom, who punched him in the back. Cutman threw a scissor at Venom.

The Eggplant Wizard entered the ring, with his staff and cape. He entered the tournament only to prove himself to Mother Brain. He looked at Gutsman and Cutman.

"I should help my NES villain brothers!" He summoned a knife that looked like a carrot and started slashing away at Venom.

Venom was getting annoyed. Who the hell was this purple fat thing attacking him with a fucking carrot? And why was this big, stupid, neanderthal robot attack him with the little guy who throws scissors from his head? But most of all, Psycho Mantis was annoying the fucking shit out of him.

He threw Cutman into Eggplant Wizard, and drop kicked Gutsman. He charged headfirst towards Psycho Mantis, ready to do a Venom Fang. Once he got even close to Psycho Mantis, he teleported to an empty part of the ring and continued throwing stuff.

The Dirty Bubble floated into the ring.

"It is I! The feared DIRTY BUBBLE! Bow before me, or get ready to EAT DIRT!" His sinister grin turned to a frown when he realised nobody was listening to him, and continued fighting with each other.

Demitri threw a Chaos Flare at Powdered Toast Man and smiled.

"You know." he said with a thick Romanian accent. "Superheroes are always the tastiest." His teeth were sharp, his mouth drooling. He dove into Powdered Toast Man, sinking his teeth into his neck.

He quickly detached himself, fell back, and went into a coughing fit. "What the hell is that? Why is your blood all sandy and tastes like sawdust?"

"Ha HA!" Powdered Toast Man laughed with his hands on his hips. "Years ago, I had a blood transfusion to replace my blood with Powdered Toast!"

"I challenge you robots to a fight! The loser has to eat dirt!"

Cutman and Gutsman looked at each other and then attacked The Dirty Bubble. Soon enough, Cutman and Gutsman were both trapped inside of his hollow, bubbly interior. The Dirty Bubble laughed as Gutsman and Cutman ineffectively tried to escape.

"_B-l-o-o-d-s-h-e-d now!_

_B-l-o-o-d-s-h-e-d now!_

_B-l-o-o-d-s-h-e-d now!_

_B-l-o-o-d-s-h-e-d now!_"

GG Allin stumbled down the catwalk, in nothing but a jock strap and a leather jacket, and under the influence of various drugs (cocaine, heroin, PCP, meth, to name a few). He downed a bottle of Jim Bean and climbed into the ring. Within 5 seconds he was already naked, rolling in his own shit and blood.

Sven facepalmed. "God damnit..."

GG Allin promptly vomited all over himself and took a dump. He passed out face first in a puddle of shit, piss, and puke.

"Well this is just fantastic." said Demitri, sarcasticly.

They all stared at him for a few seconds.

"I think he's dead." commented The Dirty Bubble. Gutsman and Cutman stopped trying to escape, they were just looking at GG Allin's corpse with disgust.

Powdered Toast Man checked GG Allin's pulse. "Yep, he's dead."

"Anyone wanna clean this shit up?" asked Gordon Freeman.

Everyone looked at each other.

"Fuck it. I'll do it." volunteered Psycho Mantis. He used him telekenesis to remove GG Allin's corpse and bodily fluids from the ring.

Everything was awkwardly silent for a while. Nobody fought.

Dr. Robotnik flew into the ring, smacking Demitri in the face and out of the ring with a giant wrecking ball. The ring exploded with fight again and everything was back to normal.

Cutman and Gutsman still continued to struggle inside The Dirty Bubble.

Cutman had a revealation. "Hey, what the hell am I doing?" he removed a scissor from his head, and thrust it into The Dirty Bubble, popping him.

Gutsman was dumbfounded. "Now why the hell didn't we think of that before?"

Powdered Toast Man flew after Dr. Robotnik. "Get out of your vehicle and fight me like a man, Baldy!"

"Baldy?!" Dr. Robotnik pulled out a red Chaos Emerald. "It's not wise to call me names when I have thi-HEY!" Powdered Toast Man snatched the Chaos Emerald from Robotnik's hand and observed it.

"Give that back!" Dr. Robotnik reached for it, only to be pushed out of his machine-cart thing and out of the ring. The cart came crashing down shotly afterwards.

Powdered Toast Man rubbed his chin as he carefully observed the jewel. He nonchalantly tossed it aside. "I don't like its color."

It fell in front of Cutman, who curiously looked at it.

"_Said she'd never had a Full House_

_But I should have known_

_From the tattoo on her left leg_

_And the garter on her right_

_She'd have the card to bring me down_

_If she played it right_"

Jack of Blades walked down the catwalk, boasting.

"Right now, people, you're looking at the future winner of this tournament. Your knees will tremble at the words 'Jack of Blades'. Even more than they do now!"

"_She's got the jack, she's got the jack_

_She's got the jack, she's got the jack_

_She's got the jack, she's got the jack_

_She's got the jack, she's got the jack_

_She's got the jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack_

_She's got the jack_"

Jack hovered around the ring, throwing fireballs.

Venom had had enough. Not only were Gutsman, Cutman, and Eggplant Wizard attacking him constantly, Psycho Mantis kept throwing things at him. Now this faggot in a red robe and mask was throwing fireballs at him. Eggplant Wizard thrust his carrot-knife at Venom, but Venom grabbed his arm and threw him out of the ring.

As Gutsman tried to haymaker Venom, Venom used Gutsman's own massive weight against him to toss him into Jack of Blades.

Jack of Blades pushed Gutsman off of him and drew the Sword of Eons.

"You will regret throwing that behemoth at me!"

He charged Venom with his sword and slashed his suit. The gash in his suit sew itself up quickly afterwards.

Pudd turned to Sven. "Is he using the original Fable Sword of Eons or the Lost Chapters one?"

"Lost Chapters." said Sven.

"Ew. Fag." scoffed Pudd.

While quite powerful, Jack of Blades's magic and overpowering sword were no match for Venom's power. Venom pounces on the flying Jack and took him down crashing to the mat, making sure to punch him in the neck a few times on the way down.

"_Kann man herzen brechen_

_Können herzen sprechen_

_Kann man herzen quälen_

_Kann man herzen stehlen_

_Sie wollen mein herz am rechten fleck_

_Doch seh ich dann nach unten weg_

_Da schlägt es links_"

Baron Werner Ünderbheit IV strolled down the ring, head up high, like any prestigious ruler such as him would. Accompanying him were 4 slaves, two holding up his cape like bridesmaids would. To his side was his trusty servant which whom he had since he was in college, Manservant. In the stands, Catclops and Girl Hitler scoffed.

"Soon ve vill be ze rulers of Ünderland. Just you vait, Catclops."

A security guard pointed at Catclops. "Hey, there's no smoking in here! Tell your eye to stop smoking!"

Ünderbheit climbed into the ring.

"I'll show these veaklings that Ünderland is a glorious und powerful nation!"

He punched Gordon in the face, since he was the closest to him. Gordon retaliated by uneffectively hitting Ünderbheit's amor-clad chest with a crowbar. Ünderbheit grabbed Gordon's arm and threw him to the mat.

Powdered Toast Man punched a full bottle of Dr. Pepper.

"I've had enough of you, and your throwing of beverages! Taste my raisins!" He fired raisins at Psycho Mantis, who predictably teleported away.

"Hmm. How am I supposed to defeat a man who teleports, I wonder."

"Plug your controller into port 2!" shouted many of the fans in the audience, facetiously.

Gutsman and Cutman ambushed Venom, who was distracted by Jack of Blades throwing fireballs at him. This ambush however, strangely infuriated Jack of Blades.

"How am I supposed to show off for my legions of fans if these idiots keep interupting me?"

He turned around to see Zabuza, who entered without anybody realizing it(you know, because he's a fucking ninja) standing on the turnbuckle.

"Your sword looks powerful, ninja.. He lifted his Sword of Eons. "Think it has a chance against my Sword of Eons?"

Zabuza smirked quietly. "If you must." A fog surrounded him.

"You think your ninja tricks will work against me? You are wrongly mistaken." Jack of Blades charged towards Zabuza, slashing at the cloud of fog. The swipe cleared the fog to reveal that Zabuza wasn't there. Jack knew he was fucked.

"MUON SATSUJIN JUTSU!"

Jack of Blades's corpse fell out of the ring.

"Hey Sven." Pudd did a random jutsu-esque motion with his hands.

"What was that?"

"My slap in the face-jutsu!" Pudd slapped Sven in the face and laughed.

"...Dick."

Zabuza landed, and did some water jutsu's to people around him. Gordon was unlucky enough to get hit by a waterfall.

Psycho Mantis was the only one he hadn't hit with a jutsu, so he charged toward him with a jumping slash.

Psycho Mantis teleported away. "Don't you people learn?" He threw an array of objects at Zabuza, trying to knock him out of the ring, since he was on the edge.

Fugue 7777 from the Katamari Damacy soundtrack played as The King of All Cosmos entered the ring with the Prince and his Queen at his side.

"I think for once I'll be the one who uses the Katamari." He held the strange ball in his hand. "Now how to you use this, Prince?"

"You just, kinda, roll it." said the tiny Prince to the giant King.

"Seems simple enough. I mean a great King such as I shouldn't use such simple things as this Katamari, but I do anyhow, for the sake of using them. It's sorta funny in a way, don't you think?"

The Prince said nothing.

The King entered the ring, rolling the Katamari. He rolled it into Venom, which did nothing.

"You know this weapon is kind of useless."

Zabuza leaped on the cups and souveniors that were thrown at him(he can do that. He's a ninja." He leaped from cup to cup, trying to find a way to get in the middle of the rng without being hit with anything going at amazing speeds, such as these cups. He wasn't looking up, however, and got hit in the face with a bulbous ball, which knocked him off balance and out of the ring.

"Ah HA! I knew this thing was good for _something!_"

The ball was caught in mid-air by Gordon's gravity gun, who fired it at Ünderbheit, which bounced off his head and slammed into Gutsman, knocked him off the turnbuckle he was about to leap off of(onto Venom) and he fell out of the ring.

"Damn you, Gordon!" Cutman threw the Katamari as hard as he could at Gordon Freeman. Gordon dodged it, and it bounced off of Ünderbheit's head again, this time knocking him over the ropes and out of the ring.

Psycho Mantis caught the Katamari with his mind and fired it like a bullet into King of All Cosmos. The King was almost flung into the stands, but fell to the ground outside the mat.

"God fucking damn." said Clem.

"4 kills by Katamari." said Sven. "New record."

"They were rapid fire KOs too. Like MURVA, oh MUR! OH shit MUR! MURRRR!" Pudd chimed in.

"Indeed, Pudd. Such a wordsmith." Clem laughed.

**RESULTS** (15 votes)

Venom (Spiderman) 14:1 (93)

Psycho Mantis (Metal Gear Solid) 12:3 (80)

Powdered Toast Man (Ren and Stimpy) 12:3 (80)

Cutman (Mega Man) 11:4 (73)

Gordon Freeman (Half-Life) 10:5 (67)

King of All Cosmos (Katamari Damacy) 9:6 (60)

Dr. Ivo Robotnik (Sonic the Hedgehog) 9:6 (60)

Gutsman (Mega Man) 9:6 (60)

Captain Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Caribbean) 9:6 (60)

Zabuza Momochi (Naruto) 8:7 (53)

Jack of Blades (Fable) 8:7 (53)

Goro (Mortal Kombat) 8:7 (53)

Magneto (X-Men) 7:8 (47)

Baron Werner Ünderbheit IV (The Venture Bros) 6:9 (40)

Verdugo (Resident Evil 4) 6:9 (40)

The Dirty Bubble (Spongebob Squarepants) 5:10 (33)

Demitri Maximov (Darkstalkers) 3:12 (20)

G.G. Allin 2:13 (13)

Eggplant Wizard (Captain N) 2:13 (13)

Kirk Douglas 2:13 (13)

KOs this round: 2: Venom, Psycho Mantis, PTM, Cutman, Gordon 1: KoAC, Robotnik, Gutsman, Jack Sparrow, Zabuza

KO leaders: Venom 2, Psycho Mantis 2, PTM 2, Cutman 2, Gordon 2


End file.
